The FPO´s

¡Feliz Fiesta de Nuestra Senora de Carmelita! At least, thats how I think it goes.....Yesterday was the feast of Our Lady of Mt. Carmel and it was a beautiful day with the friars of the primitive observance. The Carmelitas live very close to the Friars, actually exactly right between my house here and the Friars convent on the Coffee Farm of the Leeches, a North American family who harvests coffee out of their back yard and sells it to the U.S.. I am hoping to be blessed with an oppurtunity to visit them soon, they have a 12 oclock daily soup kitchen for the orphans in the area who havent found an orphanage yet...anyways they invited Joseph and I and anyone else from the Campus to go and pray and sing with them for they have about 50-75 kids everyday. They are truly saints, just another example of people living radical lives for Christ in a world centered around the idea of self.
Interesting, in my spanish dictionary- thanks Jiza...the word Yo translates into 2 definitions- 1)I and 2) Ego.

So about the visit with the Friars....I left the campus on friday to go to the convent at 2pm. I walked into the convent during their midday prayer and found out upon arrival that this was their day of silence. I had already drank a cup of coffee at school and was unprepared but I read for the first hour and then adored Christ in their chapel for the next 3, which was probably the most spiritual time I have been blessed with and Christ repeatedly told me to have peace...and it was the one thing I had been missing for the last couple of weeks. I had moved into a new country and met new people, left that one for another one (nica) and then met newer people, started living with a new family, praying with a group of new people who spoke a different language and this whole time I was constantly being broken. I must admit, I was far from full of peace during this past month or so. So it was this friday in silence and meditation that Christ could really speak to me in such a powerful way. And it was SO simple too, which was probably the biggest blessing out of all of it, It was really really simple. Almost like a ¨shhhhh¨ from a mother to a young child crying. From that point on, the weekend flowed into more and more discernment in my heart. The Friars FPOs are probably the most simple guys I have ever met, they have nothing and seem to be the richest guys I know, apart from the CFRs, but its a very different community. We went to bed nightly around 9 oclock and awoke at 1 am for office of readings and we had to light candles in order to see. After those, we went back to sleep for roughly 2 and a half to 3 hours and arose again at 530 for prayer and then Holy Mass at 730. It was in celebrating mass with the 5 friars in a chapel of dirt floor, 2 candles and extremely humble tabernacle that I fell even more in love with Christ in the Eucharist. So many things occured to me as I recieved Christ that Mass in such a fashion- why it was so important to spread not only the ¨good news¨but the Love of the Church and to earnestly and enthusiastically draw closer to the Catholic Church, Christs SPOUSE, and to desire with everything we have for others to be just as close IF NOT closer to HER, for the sake of the KINGDOM OF HEAVEN. This quiet listening was Necessary for me at this point in my life...and was completely providincial in many ways. Saturday morning after Mass, Fr Peter and I talked for a while about my vocation and he gave me some great direction in that, he helped explain some things and answered alot of questions I have had for a while in ways that have been very beneficial in my discernment. The rest of the day I walked the streets with the friars begging for food and sharing time with the people of the city. I felt honored in a way to be apart of their community even for that short time. I had an amazing vision of Friars all over the world as the special forces of The Church in 3rd world countries, here they call it the power of the Habit, but it truly is that way. They walk among criminals, injustice, rape, heretics, violence, abuse, etc etc, but when they walk....people STOP everything they are doing and notice them. Not in some fancy schmancy way like we would the president or something but in Awe....if their sacrifice, of their devotion and of their LOVE. Their love for anyone....no matter their story, past, life, these MEN of GOD, love anyone with as close to the same love Christ had for us, as you can get. Like the red sea parting, and Pharoah with all of his evils stopped as the water closes back on his troops, so does the sin, at least for that time....as the people part opening a path for the friars to come and pray, to hold, to love.....their selfishness or hurt ceases during that time. It was after these things that I left the Convent and headed back for San Marcos....a truly beautiful and clarifying experience.

So...I arrived home to Maria Sara's wide open arms around 8 30 pm last night, Fr. Peter kicked me out so I could avoid walking around in the dark (not a bad idea). It felt great to be back at my home again, Maria Sara (the little 4 yr old) and Jesse (6yr old) had just gotten over a really really bad cold and ran to me saying (in spanish) Estamos mejor! Puede abrazar nosotros! Because for the last week or so, they couldnt hug me due to an extreme flu that was going around San Marcos.

So now its monday, and the reading today in Mass was about Jesus saying ¨I have not come to bring Peace.....I have come to seperate brothers, sons from fathers, daughters from mothers¨ and this is so TRUE.....But, we must never forget His love overall....as in Revelations (in spanish in one of Johns visions about the seals being broken and total warfare, destruction, blood, tears, etc etc etc, and God is victorious as always, but we must remember that Jesus doesnt only preach fun and happy things.....in fact He teaches Repentance of our Sins and Conversion of Hearts more than ANYTHING else...which is not such an easy and happy happy joy joy type thing at all. Now, all these things can be good, family is very important as are Brothers and Sisters in Christ....but what we must realize is that its not always about feeling good, and that is where I think the protestant church, as well as many of us Catholics go astray. This is where we should draw closest with Christ in His SUFFERING on the cross. And I thank God everyday that I am given His Son in the Eucharist to remind me of that. As Catholics we can all experience this....EVERYDAY.

As for this weekend it was truly one of the most amazing experiences I have ever been blessed with and I feel above all else that God has His Hand open in front of me, with an invitation on it written.....¨You are invited to join my special forces. Date: Life. RSVP if you decide to join my troops.¨ As I left the convent yesterday evening.....it was as if God used Brother Patrick to hand me that spiritual invitation....and I know that if this is my true calling....There will be no hesitation in making that quick phone call upstairs..

I pray that all is well in the States.....You are all on my mind and in my heart all the time...especially in big groups of people when I cant understand a word of their rapid-fire nicaraguan spanish...Please please please pray for me, as well as the missioners here and in Honduras....I hope the trip went well to my home in Honduras Joe, Joe, Andrew, Chris and Dad. Ill be praying for you guys.

Praise God for the gift of Life.